16

Sometimes you must be critical of your own thoughts. At all times you must be critical of your own thoughts. You must extrapolate and articulate and reverberate them through the caverns of your mind. All the while remembering that you share a common reality with others.

It truly is the worst trick in our ‘verse. To have to share a “reality” with other humans; and that truly is essentially what reality is: the place where other people interact with you. It can be modified by modifying their interactions with you. It can be limited by the interactions that are executed, and expanded by increasing the interactions and generating the potential for more interactions to be held.

(I imagine this a bit like celebrity-ness. You become open to all suggestions and all potential interactions. …but it could be annoying because it might lead to a dissolution of self)

The challenge lies in the belief that dissolution of self is a beautiful idea, but it is not real. Some pop celebrity/Dali lama/politician is a dissolved reality, and you can’t reliably trust a dissolved reality. In a weird way of saying this, it is as though my words are a message in a bottle that I am sending through time, by making them semi-permanent in a digital realm. But the very act of tailoring those words from my reality and preserving them in any context is to pervert them as they enter yours. The ink in my message will become altered as it rides the currents of time to reach your reality, it will already have been obscured by the time you read it.

Our ideas age rapidly. Our interacting realities interact form all sorts of losses and gains in time. I speak with my grandfather and I can see that his mind is trapped in an era that has passed, he cannot even see that much about himself. This man has no concept of what art is, music is always the same flavor in his ears, and in the airforce when only 4 bombers came back from a mission in which 32 were sent out he shrugged it off because god would forgive him and his country would praise his patriotism. Even though his peers died at his command; I mean technically, it was the Luftwaffe. Technically, it wasn’t directly his command. But realistically his reality contributed to the end of their reality. More than 300 realities ended that day, and they were just measured by their service to a larger subconscious reality.  

That’s the weakness in this whole thing: realities can be ended. It is a part of all histories anywhere; people can be killed.

Do I believe that Jesus should have been killed? Probably not, had I lived in that time I would have seen the humor in what he was doing and laughed in support.

But do I believe that john wayne gacey should be killed? Absolutely. Realities that are that twisted should be ended, even if I were forced to do it myself I would. Which is to say; if this person were present in my reality I would go out of my way to end his.

That’s the point though: our population is immense. It is so immense that no person could see all other people in a human lifetime. It is so huge that reality stretches on beyond one human lifetime. There are realities that will go out of their way to impede on the realities of others and we will call them disorders, and we will call them evil; but they will come into existence none the less and they will be dealt with ad hoc. Our collective reality is as infinite ‘in’ reality as the universe. It spans on beyond the reach of our time. Modifying it a little or modifying it a lot makes no existential difference, because we won’t even realize it. (as we cannot realize what might or might-not have been)

I think my favorite aspect of this enters my mind as though our personal consciousness enters into this plane of reality (our personal reality, not the collective that is shared with others) like a needle with thread making a single stitch into a plane of fabric, and it is impossible to know how many other planes of fabric are being stitched into this one, and it is equally as impossible to know how many planes we are stitching ourselves into. All that I seem to be aware of is that we have a needle-and-thread-like dichotomy in this aspect of reality. I have no idea if I came from anywhere, I have no idea if I will go anywhere and all the while I have something in me that seems to animate flesh. I have some aspect that needs to take a shit every so often. And the synergy of the two seems to wonder if we need to exist to not exist. Do we come into being to become something else? Will it be ‘being’ at all if I’m ‘dead’?      

I would speculate that our realities are modified by the depth of our perception and our sensitivity to the outside world. Desensitization will lead to a limitation of reality (which is annoyingly self-fulfilling) but it is valid in the same sense that we cannot dwell if we wish to proceed. And it must be recognized that some will wish to dwell. Some will wish to hold you back and some will wish to spurn you forward as they perceive their own realities. But all of them will play out and then go on to the next level, whatever that may be.